Style in Transition
Building blocks, fragments and feeling yourself
It feels like my style is in transition. To what and where I don’t know yet. Probably because my life also is in a form of transition - and with life it’s hard to know where you’ll end up. Among other things I’m questioning if I want to keep doing what I’m doing, if I want to change jobs completely or maybe move internally in the company.
I’m not sure what I want my style to look like. Do I want to wear more oversized pieces? Sporty pieces? Add more polished touches? Or experiment more with silhouettes and texture - which might mean adding synthetic fabrics after mainly having worn natural fibers for a while. Maybe it’s time to update my three style words - evaluate if classic - relaxed - sophisticated still feel right. Or maybe I just need to change my interpretation of them and how I express them in my outfits.
I know I want to feel like myself. But who am I - or rather who am I becoming? It’s a slow and sometimes frustrating process, navigating inner and outer change, both in mindset and in body. I need to accept that it’s a journey even though I might not be able to embrace it wholeheartedly all the time.
A Fragmented Wardrobe
Right now my wardrobe feels fragmented after having removed the items that don’t fit due to my changing body. The button up shirts I wore all the time aren’t getting much wear because I lack my preferred bottoms. My go-to uniform is no longer an option as pieces are missing. But do I bridge that gap or do I start from scratch?
Are these items something I want to include going forward? Is it worth focusing on connecting those to my existing wardrobe and filling the gaps or should I prioritize something else??? Is my wardrobe taking a new direction where they don’t have a place?
Some of them are. They are solid pieces that I want to keep and that feels like me. But others represent a past self - someone that no longer feels completely like me. The items might even be a tad too tight or slightly worn out but still able to work until a replacement comes into my life. Because I can’t get rid of everything at once - I still have to wear clothes every day. Those pieces might not be worth going through the effort of bridging the gap.
The Safety of the Familar
You can easily get attracted to the same kind of pieces you used to wear. You know they work (untill they don’t) and how they fit into your wardrobe. You aren’t running any risks. I definitely gone that route, and at points it has been right for me. But at the moment I’m not sure that more linen and cotton tops is what my wardrobe is lacking. I’m craving more structure, more definition.
There’s nothing wrong with sticking with what’s familiar unless that isn’t what you want. If your wardrobe feels a bit flat and you’re wanting more variety, more edge - more something!?! Then it might be time to try something new.
I’m changing and my wardrobe needs to reflect that change. Replacements should only enter my wardrobe if they still feel right and not out of habit.
Building Blocks and Puzzle Pieces
In the process it’s easy to want to try to skip ahead - to the goal, to the end result. But A) It doesn’t work that way, and B) as mentioned I don’t know the end result yet - soooo quite hard to actually skip ahead.
I might be able to see a few steps ahead, but I need to go through the steps in order to make it work. I want to add more dimension and variety to my wardrobe, but I’m not sure exactly which direction this transition is going to take. If I go out now and buy a blazer that requires me to buy a new pair of pants and/or a different top to wear underneath or a silver shoe although I never wear silver, that’s not going to work. It needs to be connected to my current wardrobe. Maybe down the road it will make sense to buy that item, but not right now. It would just result in my wardrobe feeling even more fractured than it already is.
What I need to do in order to make it work for me during the process of rebuilding is adding one building block at the time - starting with what I have. Add a top or blazer that works with the pants I wear that enables me to make several new outfits. Or a pair of jeans or pants that opens up new possibilities in my wardrobe. Building on the foundation I have and not trying to add the roof if I haven’t yet built the walls to hold it up.
After adding things that go with what I have - and hopefully taking my wardrobe in a direction that feels right - then I will be able to (slowly) acquire other items that further lean towards the new direction. I need to connect the dots in order to have a functional wardrobe during the transition period. This sounds like there actually is an end goal, which probably is a myth. We’re always evolving, growing in some way or another - some periods just have more growing pains than others.
Each new addition to my wardrobe should ideally be a puzzle piece that fits with the existing pieces creating new opportunities. Not a solo piece floating alone with no connection to what’s already there resulting in scrambling to fill the gap between the existing wardrobe and the new piece. As this is a journey I might discover that the solo puzzle piece wasn’t the right direction, it was a distraction or a dead end. It’s not going to be a linear progression - more like a twisted and winding path, with detours and unexpected surprises along the way. I’m going to make mistakes and will have to double back, but hopefully have learnt something along the way.
And if a part of the puzzle starts to feel frustrating - maybe it’s time to shift my focus to a different part and come back later instead of forcing it.
Losing sense of your style
In a transition period you can easily get influenced and maybe even lose sight of yourself and your own wants. Your foundation isn’t as solid as it used to be while you’re seeking to align your wardrobe with the new and still evolving version of you. You seek inspiration, but that can also result in veering totally off path and ending up not feeling like yourself.
A video on Youtube, a post on Instagram, a comment from a friend may have you questioning your taste and choices. Should you wear that colour near your face? Should shoes and tops never match? Does that silhouette work for you? Should you follow or discard certain (often conflicting) “fashion rules”? And so on. You’re grabbling for something tangible to hold on to. You’re questioning if you’re stuck in what your past self would have worn or if these are actually your preferences now. A new silhouette or way of wearing an item can feel daunting and unfamiliar at first, but it might not mean that it’s wrong. You might just need a bit of time to get to know it, see how you feel in it.
It’s easy to be seduced or swayed by what others are wearing and their opinion, but I need to remember - and more importantly take the time to find out - what I like, what makes me feel the best. The most important thing might be letting my body speak - not a sales associate, a friend, or my partner. You know when you put an item on, and you move differently in front of the mirror. You aren’t fidgeting with anything. You might not be able to explain why this item makes you feel like the best version of yourself, but intuitively you know this is right.
I want to be seeking those moments when you are just feeling yourself in an item or an outfit - you know you look good.
And you don’t care what anyone else is thinking.
This is not going to be easy as it sounds. But it will serve as a reminder that my body knows what intuitively feel right. I might have to settle for a few placeholders in order to make my wardrobe function right now, but I’ll do my best to limit the number. By allowing myself the time to find right pieces, hopefully I’ll eventually achieve a wardrobe that consists of quality pieces I truly love, suits my lifestyle and where getting dressed is primarily a source of joy instead of frustration.
I’m curious: Have you experienced losing sense of your style when navigating life changes? How do you know when a piece is just right for you?
After I left my first job (one that I had for a decade), I was pretty lost style-wise. My clothes didn’t really suit my new role, and I was also exploring different styles and I often felt like I had two personas that didn’t talk to each other. Then the pandemic happened and I gained weight and moved countries and the only thing I seemed to be buying was sweatpants and t shirts. It was a messy time. I do remember that it all came together for me when I bought a pair of trousers that kind of “defined”my look and became my anchor for getting dressed. It’s not always the case but I often think that if something can’t be worn with those trousers, I probably can’t make it work.
I did a wardrobe cull, when I committed to buying less and better. I only kept pieces I valued for their quality, and enough to tide me over until I built up my wardrobe again. It was daunting to suddenly have to think about what I really wanted to be buying and wearing, instead of just collecting stuff as I went along. In the end I focused on the fabrics I really wanted to wear, and started from there. It's hard because one has so many rules about one "should" have, and what would be sensible, that sometimes it's hard to remember to just think, "What do I really want to wear?"