After I left my first job (one that I had for a decade), I was pretty lost style-wise. My clothes didn’t really suit my new role, and I was also exploring different styles and I often felt like I had two personas that didn’t talk to each other. Then the pandemic happened and I gained weight and moved countries and the only thing I seemed to be buying was sweatpants and t shirts. It was a messy time. I do remember that it all came together for me when I bought a pair of trousers that kind of “defined”my look and became my anchor for getting dressed. It’s not always the case but I often think that if something can’t be worn with those trousers, I probably can’t make it work.
That sounds quite stressful - and like a lot of changes, that really can influence how you want to dress.
I love the idea of having an anchor piece that helps you ensure that your wardrobe is coherent. I'm still trying to navigate this transition period and experimenting with new things, while also trying to avoid overconsuming. Starting to aquire a few foundational pices is helping, but I don't think I have found my anchor yet. Or maybe it's already in my closet, but I just haven't realised it.
What was it about those trousers that you felt defined your look?
Hmmm good question! The trousers hit that sweet spot between being suited for my lifestyle (very casual) and appealing to the style/aesthetic I was drawn to (unisex, a bit gorpcore, a bit workwear). I’d been trying wide leg trousers for months and months and never really felt at home in any of them but this one felt right the minute I tried them on.
I think it really takes time to find these things and having the ability to shop in person made a big difference because you really know it when it hits right.
Finding the unicorn that hits exactly right both when it comes to style and practicality is amazing. Sometimes it's just the small things that really make the difference whether something works or not.
The Uniqlo jacket has been amazing and maybe a bit of a unicorn piece for me as well. Practical and stylish! It just makes every casual outfit feel a bit more stylish and is still easy to wear with my more classic pieces. A bit more sporty than I usually go for, but I've worn every second day since I got it.
I did a wardrobe cull, when I committed to buying less and better. I only kept pieces I valued for their quality, and enough to tide me over until I built up my wardrobe again. It was daunting to suddenly have to think about what I really wanted to be buying and wearing, instead of just collecting stuff as I went along. In the end I focused on the fabrics I really wanted to wear, and started from there. It's hard because one has so many rules about one "should" have, and what would be sensible, that sometimes it's hard to remember to just think, "What do I really want to wear?"
Fabrics is such a good place to start and has helped me in the past. In general I prefer natural fibers unless I want specific things that only can be provided by a synthetic fabric. Focusing on what I really want to wear and what makes me exited is a good reminder. It's easy to get distracted by all the "noise".
This resonated with me so much! I went through a (very long period) after having moved from NY to Bangkok where I lived in athleisure because I was hot and sweaty and it seemed to make the most sense. I’ve been on a journey of intentionally discovering my style.
I feel like there is a spectrum to this where you go from being influenced to hearing yourself more clearly. I’ve also recently been reflecting on how a no/low buy really doesn’t work when you don’t have enough pieces that reflect where your style is going, and you really need to live with some wins and some mistakes to understand your preferences. I think you capture all of this perfectly.
It means so much that it resonated with you! Moving to a completely different climate seems like it could really throw your style. What do you feel has helped you discover your style?
It's very much a journey of discovery and finding what works and what doesn't. I'm still working on hearing my self clearly (love this expression) as it can be difficult to know whether it's just new and you need to let yourself get used to it (safety of the familiar, but maybe that's isn't right anymore) or if it's just not right for you.
You're probably right and a no/low buy isn't the best in this situation and I probably won't be doing one next year. But being probably a bit too stubborn for my own good I'm still sticking to it this year (at least for now). After I changed the rules in April so replacements doesn't count, it seems more doable to me. Could mean more orders and returns though... There will be both mistakes and wins and hopefully I'll learn more about my preferences which seems a hard to pin down at the moment.
I think three big things that have helped me discover my style (tho I’m still on the journey) are (1) daily outfit selfies; (2) digitizing my closet - seeing how everything fits together and logging outfit ideas / outfit planning has been totally game changing, but maybe because I’m an optimizer; (3) being here on Substack and observing how people with very different styles think through their choices!
I totally didn’t mean to imply you shouldn’t do a no/low buy (only realized you are on one after I wrote my comment)! I meant that I’ve decided to give myself more grace in my purchases. I’ve also been tracking my purchases, and found I’ve had a much better success rate this year, so maybe that comes with time too?
No worries 😄 I'm trying to be less strict with myself as I'm navigating this period of change. I did a successfull low buy last year, but this year has felt completely different, so I guess I'll see how I end up this year. Still want to avoid overconsumption and getting overwhelmed.
I've been tracking my purchases since 2012(!) and my outfits since 2022 first in Stylebook and now Indyx, so lots of data. I'm still to get into the habit of daily selfies allthough sometimes there can be a big difference in how an outfit looks and how it felt wearing it, so I try not to rely too much on the photo. Substack is a great space to be inspired. Trying to navigate the line between being inspired and being influenced (too much).
Wow, I’m in awe of how much data you must have! I’ve only been tracking for a year, but eagerly check my most worn stats every few weeks (I’m on Stylebook). 🤓
I find the selfies helpful because the outfit drapes differently from how it looks in the flat lay, so sometimes my outfits don’t work how I plan and that’s useful info too
I never experienced losing sense of my style, but i'm not always paying attention to it either. I'm a lot more conscious with my style now, then I was ever before. I know when a piece is right if I have no doubt, if the first reaction is ''Yes, I love this''. When reading your article I thought about something that could be helpful for you. Do you have pieces in your wardrobe where you have no doubt about? Your staples or favorite items. Maybe you can put them aside (physically or digitally in an app like Indyx) and build around these items. Indyx could be helpfull, only log your favorite pieces. You can easily style the new item(s) with your existing wardrobe that you are happy with. So you build around the items your absolutely sure of. The items in your closet, that you are unsure about, you can still wear but don't use to build up your future wardrobe.
Mostly I also know that a piece is right, when you have that instant yes. But other pieces that have become favourites, take a little more time, especially if they are different from what I already tend to wear. It's more a feeling of "there's something here, but I don't know what". Those pieces can end up being some of my most worn, but they might also end up languishing in the back of the closet. So navigation a style transition and thus new style elements it can be hard to discern whether it will a great option or a dud. It might not be the right piece, but there might be elements about that I like and can look for in other pieces.
Building a small collection in Indyx with my favourite pieces and then styling any new pieces with those sounds like a good idea. Then I have a very clear idea of which existing pieces that any new items need to go with.
Thanks for continuing to share your journey, Sigrid. I try to always think long and hard about questions posed, and I thought about yours and found that YES I have gone through something like this!! It was when I was pregnant, bookended by postpartum of course but also, strangely, a bit before I even I knew I was pregnant. My body was changing (little did I know…!) and my reaction was to hide it with athleisure. Somehow I convinced myself at the time that it was an aesthetic choice, that I was cool with it, but of course in hindsight, it was NOT ME at all. It taught me that when I’m hiding, when I dress to shrink myself and blend in, I’m going through something.
This ramble may not be helpful to your current situation, but it did remind me of that version of myself. I’m certain this stage will teach you something too.
I love your rambles! I enjoy reading about other people's journey and experiences even though they might not be exactly similar. What a great insight to have, that you tend to want to blend when you're going through something. This reminded me that I in my late teens and 20s used to change my hair colour when big changes were coming. I've have been thinking about getting highlights recently after not having coloured my hair for almost 15 years... So maybe it's a sign?
I admire your "slow is pro" mindset here, Sigrid. There's so much clarity in how you describe the winding path of change - not just in style, but in life. It’s such a powerful reminder that true style often emerges not from speed, but from intentionality and self-trust. Thank you for putting this into words.
What a lovely comment! Change can be hard to navigate, and it's easy to start questioning your choices in the process. I need to accept it takes time and not a linear process. Hopefully it will lead to building an intentional wardrobe that I truly love.
After I left my first job (one that I had for a decade), I was pretty lost style-wise. My clothes didn’t really suit my new role, and I was also exploring different styles and I often felt like I had two personas that didn’t talk to each other. Then the pandemic happened and I gained weight and moved countries and the only thing I seemed to be buying was sweatpants and t shirts. It was a messy time. I do remember that it all came together for me when I bought a pair of trousers that kind of “defined”my look and became my anchor for getting dressed. It’s not always the case but I often think that if something can’t be worn with those trousers, I probably can’t make it work.
That sounds quite stressful - and like a lot of changes, that really can influence how you want to dress.
I love the idea of having an anchor piece that helps you ensure that your wardrobe is coherent. I'm still trying to navigate this transition period and experimenting with new things, while also trying to avoid overconsuming. Starting to aquire a few foundational pices is helping, but I don't think I have found my anchor yet. Or maybe it's already in my closet, but I just haven't realised it.
What was it about those trousers that you felt defined your look?
Hmmm good question! The trousers hit that sweet spot between being suited for my lifestyle (very casual) and appealing to the style/aesthetic I was drawn to (unisex, a bit gorpcore, a bit workwear). I’d been trying wide leg trousers for months and months and never really felt at home in any of them but this one felt right the minute I tried them on.
I think it really takes time to find these things and having the ability to shop in person made a big difference because you really know it when it hits right.
PS that sporty jacket is amazing!
Finding the unicorn that hits exactly right both when it comes to style and practicality is amazing. Sometimes it's just the small things that really make the difference whether something works or not.
The Uniqlo jacket has been amazing and maybe a bit of a unicorn piece for me as well. Practical and stylish! It just makes every casual outfit feel a bit more stylish and is still easy to wear with my more classic pieces. A bit more sporty than I usually go for, but I've worn every second day since I got it.
I did a wardrobe cull, when I committed to buying less and better. I only kept pieces I valued for their quality, and enough to tide me over until I built up my wardrobe again. It was daunting to suddenly have to think about what I really wanted to be buying and wearing, instead of just collecting stuff as I went along. In the end I focused on the fabrics I really wanted to wear, and started from there. It's hard because one has so many rules about one "should" have, and what would be sensible, that sometimes it's hard to remember to just think, "What do I really want to wear?"
Fabrics is such a good place to start and has helped me in the past. In general I prefer natural fibers unless I want specific things that only can be provided by a synthetic fabric. Focusing on what I really want to wear and what makes me exited is a good reminder. It's easy to get distracted by all the "noise".
This resonated with me so much! I went through a (very long period) after having moved from NY to Bangkok where I lived in athleisure because I was hot and sweaty and it seemed to make the most sense. I’ve been on a journey of intentionally discovering my style.
I feel like there is a spectrum to this where you go from being influenced to hearing yourself more clearly. I’ve also recently been reflecting on how a no/low buy really doesn’t work when you don’t have enough pieces that reflect where your style is going, and you really need to live with some wins and some mistakes to understand your preferences. I think you capture all of this perfectly.
It means so much that it resonated with you! Moving to a completely different climate seems like it could really throw your style. What do you feel has helped you discover your style?
It's very much a journey of discovery and finding what works and what doesn't. I'm still working on hearing my self clearly (love this expression) as it can be difficult to know whether it's just new and you need to let yourself get used to it (safety of the familiar, but maybe that's isn't right anymore) or if it's just not right for you.
You're probably right and a no/low buy isn't the best in this situation and I probably won't be doing one next year. But being probably a bit too stubborn for my own good I'm still sticking to it this year (at least for now). After I changed the rules in April so replacements doesn't count, it seems more doable to me. Could mean more orders and returns though... There will be both mistakes and wins and hopefully I'll learn more about my preferences which seems a hard to pin down at the moment.
I think three big things that have helped me discover my style (tho I’m still on the journey) are (1) daily outfit selfies; (2) digitizing my closet - seeing how everything fits together and logging outfit ideas / outfit planning has been totally game changing, but maybe because I’m an optimizer; (3) being here on Substack and observing how people with very different styles think through their choices!
I totally didn’t mean to imply you shouldn’t do a no/low buy (only realized you are on one after I wrote my comment)! I meant that I’ve decided to give myself more grace in my purchases. I’ve also been tracking my purchases, and found I’ve had a much better success rate this year, so maybe that comes with time too?
No worries 😄 I'm trying to be less strict with myself as I'm navigating this period of change. I did a successfull low buy last year, but this year has felt completely different, so I guess I'll see how I end up this year. Still want to avoid overconsumption and getting overwhelmed.
I've been tracking my purchases since 2012(!) and my outfits since 2022 first in Stylebook and now Indyx, so lots of data. I'm still to get into the habit of daily selfies allthough sometimes there can be a big difference in how an outfit looks and how it felt wearing it, so I try not to rely too much on the photo. Substack is a great space to be inspired. Trying to navigate the line between being inspired and being influenced (too much).
Wow, I’m in awe of how much data you must have! I’ve only been tracking for a year, but eagerly check my most worn stats every few weeks (I’m on Stylebook). 🤓
I find the selfies helpful because the outfit drapes differently from how it looks in the flat lay, so sometimes my outfits don’t work how I plan and that’s useful info too
The fascination with most worn and CPW is real 🤓I really like that you don’t have to pay extra on Stylebook to access the statistics.
Yes! I hope they eventually add on more but this is more than adequate for me!
I never experienced losing sense of my style, but i'm not always paying attention to it either. I'm a lot more conscious with my style now, then I was ever before. I know when a piece is right if I have no doubt, if the first reaction is ''Yes, I love this''. When reading your article I thought about something that could be helpful for you. Do you have pieces in your wardrobe where you have no doubt about? Your staples or favorite items. Maybe you can put them aside (physically or digitally in an app like Indyx) and build around these items. Indyx could be helpfull, only log your favorite pieces. You can easily style the new item(s) with your existing wardrobe that you are happy with. So you build around the items your absolutely sure of. The items in your closet, that you are unsure about, you can still wear but don't use to build up your future wardrobe.
Mostly I also know that a piece is right, when you have that instant yes. But other pieces that have become favourites, take a little more time, especially if they are different from what I already tend to wear. It's more a feeling of "there's something here, but I don't know what". Those pieces can end up being some of my most worn, but they might also end up languishing in the back of the closet. So navigation a style transition and thus new style elements it can be hard to discern whether it will a great option or a dud. It might not be the right piece, but there might be elements about that I like and can look for in other pieces.
Building a small collection in Indyx with my favourite pieces and then styling any new pieces with those sounds like a good idea. Then I have a very clear idea of which existing pieces that any new items need to go with.
Yes I also experience that. Sometimes a piece needs to grow on you.
Thanks for continuing to share your journey, Sigrid. I try to always think long and hard about questions posed, and I thought about yours and found that YES I have gone through something like this!! It was when I was pregnant, bookended by postpartum of course but also, strangely, a bit before I even I knew I was pregnant. My body was changing (little did I know…!) and my reaction was to hide it with athleisure. Somehow I convinced myself at the time that it was an aesthetic choice, that I was cool with it, but of course in hindsight, it was NOT ME at all. It taught me that when I’m hiding, when I dress to shrink myself and blend in, I’m going through something.
This ramble may not be helpful to your current situation, but it did remind me of that version of myself. I’m certain this stage will teach you something too.
I love your rambles! I enjoy reading about other people's journey and experiences even though they might not be exactly similar. What a great insight to have, that you tend to want to blend when you're going through something. This reminded me that I in my late teens and 20s used to change my hair colour when big changes were coming. I've have been thinking about getting highlights recently after not having coloured my hair for almost 15 years... So maybe it's a sign?
Whoa—maybe so!! I’m glad that unlocked a memory for you!
Or maybe I’m just finding too many greys 😂
I admire your "slow is pro" mindset here, Sigrid. There's so much clarity in how you describe the winding path of change - not just in style, but in life. It’s such a powerful reminder that true style often emerges not from speed, but from intentionality and self-trust. Thank you for putting this into words.
What a lovely comment! Change can be hard to navigate, and it's easy to start questioning your choices in the process. I need to accept it takes time and not a linear process. Hopefully it will lead to building an intentional wardrobe that I truly love.