I feel you so much...I was in the same place a few years ago and it was a very confusing time - why has my style changed? what fits? what styles am I into now? secondhand or new? am i bad for buying from fast fashion brands? what if my body continues to change?
Interestingly, once I told myself I could buy whatever I wanted to fit my changed body, I suddenly became about 100x pickier. My mind wasn't focused on "am I a bad person for shopping", it was focused on whether I could find the right clothes I needed, and it turns out I don't like about 90% of the things out there anyway. I think giving ourselves the permission to shop won't necessarily turn us into ravenous consumers if we know why we're doing it in the first place.
I ended up buying 4 pairs of trousers that year (2023), which felt excessive at the time but they're now the foundation of my everyday dress: I've hit over 95 wears for two of them, and 55 and 34 wears respectively for the other two. I think these are good outcomes!
I find it so interesting that you became pickier, when you allowed yourself to shop. This is definitely food for thought! Maybe it's because we aren't focusing on what we can't have? The focus is on what do I want to bring into my wardrobe - what actually deserves a space there.
I'm super picky in the first place, and I do sometimes wonder if I'm actually too picky. But I also know that if I settle for something "good enough" I won't be completely happy with the piece. I might not buy a replacement, especially if it's a more practical piece, but I'll never truly be satisfied.
I love that you've worn your trousers that much - truly impressive. If I love a pair of trousers I'll wear it till it gets worn out (or too small in this case).
I had the same feeling after I came out of an extended no-buy back in 2023...I was like, ok I can finally buy the vintage top I was eyeing on TRR since I waited a whole month to buy it. And then I logged into TRR and realised, it's fine, I didn't want it that badly after all. It's the same this year - i'm technically on a low buy but I keep telling myself I can make exceptions for pieces with a story, and somehow having that "permission" makes me a more careful shopper.
I guess it's about the mindset. If we continually tell ourselves that we can't have something we end up focusing so much on what we can't have, that we want it even more - a scarcity mindset.
I love that this approach is working for you and it's super inspiring!
I’m reminded of a phrase used by Shawna Ripari on YouTube, I believe re: no/low buys, and that’s keeping an eye on whether your actions “follow the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law.” I wish I could find when she discussed this but I couldn’t (she’s quite prolific!), so hopefully the gist of it comes through. It seems to me that, as long as you stay within the “why” of your low buy (which is probably not feeling like you’re punishing your body for changing, but rather adopting a slower, more mindful, more considered approach to shopping), you’re still on a successful low buy.
Thank you for the encouraging comment! I love the idea of following "the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law." I don't know what that'll look like yet, but this is definitely one thing to keep in mind. We can't always control and therefore plan for the changes in our lives and our body, so we need to be able to adapt. For it's just so easy to get caught up in the numbers and overthinking all my purchases.
This is so thoughtful, Sigrid! The reason I voted to forgo your low-buy this year is because it sounds like you're already a really thoughtful consumer who just happens to need a bit more new things than usual! I've been in a similar position and I found buying things that fit me helped my mental health so much — low buy or not. I think you should prioritize feeling good in your clothing and you don't seem like the type of person who is using your changing body as a reason to go crazy and over-consume! Give yourself grace and dress your body however you need now. <3
It's so helpful to hear from someone who went through something similar. The mental health aspect definitely plays a big role in dressing for a changing body, and it might be the right thing to forgo my low buy - haven't decided yet. Feeling good in my body is a higher priority than some arbitrary number (without overconsuming unnessarily). The low buy has caused me to overthink some decisions which might not have been good for my mental wellbeing.
And thank you for kind comment about me being thoughtful and not prone to overconsumption. It makes me so grateful for this community <3
Sigrid, I’m so glad you’re sharing about this, I think it’s something so many women deal with but are embarrassed to talk about, and then it doesn’t get normalized! My personal take is that you’re clearly so thoughtful about your purchases that I’m not sure you need a restriction to tell you what to do. I think you’ll be able to make that determination in each case when you’re considering a purchase.
Thank you for your kind comment. I did feel a bit vulnerable sharing this - showing that your body is changing and your're struggling with how to deal with that as well as shopping wasn't easy, but I also want this to be an honest reflection of what my wardrobe journey looks like. The positive response has been so heart warming.
I'll do my best to shop mindfully, but I also know that I might make mistakes and get tempted, and that's okay as well.
I think you should leave the numbers a bit, forget about the low buy. Go by season, check what you need for the coming season, how many items do you need to be comfortable in your clothes for spring, then for summer, etc. Maybe you can take some items into the next season or you can use items for spring and fall for example. Adjust when needed. Keep the not well fitting clothes which are in good condition, just in case your body fluctuates again. A 100 piece wardrobe seems not excessive to me.
This might be the way to continue, I don't know yet - hence the article ;) I do try to use my clothes across the season, but for some reason the transition from winter to early spring is the hardest. I'll keep some of the clothes that don't fit in storage.
Honestly, I don’t think the idea of a low-buy is serving you right now. I think you would be better to make sure you have enough clothes that fit you comfortably for most situations, and then consider that some of those might look different to a straight replacement.
Wait and do a low-buy when you are in a position to start adding in extras. It’s not breaking a promise if the promise was made
at the wrong time. The last think you want to do is feel as though you are punishing or depriving yourself.
You have all the tools in place to continue making thoughtful choices, just don’t put a number on it’
Thank your for thoughtful comment. You might very well be right, that this just isn't the right time. I could fear that I would go overboard just a bit if I didn't have any restrictions in place, but of course there's always some form of budgetary restrictions... I'm giving myself the rest of the month to sit with the decision and see what feels right for now - then I may have to make adjustments later on again.
Sigrid, I may not have the answer for what you should do, but I came here to say thank you for sharing this. The deeper I get into this beautiful little Substack community, the more that I realize that none of us are really alone and that these experiences are so relatable. Thank you for sharing this, and I think that no matter what you do, it's clear that you're being so thoughtful and aware, and maybe it's ok to give yourself some flexibility if that feels right♥️
The community and the ability to connect with others with similar experiences are some of the best thing about Substack ❤️ This was a difficult post to write and I felt a bit vulnerable sharing it, so your comment means a lot.
Hi! These are good questions - I feel like it’s fine to buy new clothes with body changes but adopting a mindful approach is important (as you noted). (As well as resisting urge to go on a spree when things no longer fit - maybe spacing out purchases to see how they truly work on body and in wardrobe. No duplicates in diff colors, see how quality holds up over time, etc.) I think resisting the urge to declutter clothes as soon as they don’t fit anymore (esp if a favorite) is wise, as our bodies are likely to fluctuate many times throughout our lives. Good luck!
I'll probably need all the luck I can get! I'll do my best to avoid duplicates, but I know myself well enough to know this will be difficult, especially now when fit is such an issue! Fingers crossed!
I hope you give yourself grace here to do what you need to do to dress your changing body in a way that makes you feel comfortable, whatever the item number may come to. It's clear that you are thoughtful about your consumption and learning and adjusting for what works for you!
I join all the other kind comments here and encourage you to be gentle and kind to yourself. It’s definitely not you! It’s the clothes. Maybe sometimes we need to be brave enough - especially all of us fashion lovers - to simply say: “it’s just clothes” and they should never enslave you or make you feel less of yourself or your body.
How would I do this in practice?
I would make a list of items that you are now truly missing in your wardrobe, if you have already removed/culled all the no longer fitting pieces. If there are 3-4 pairs of pants, I would start with adding 1 pair of pants to my shopping list. Maybe 2 if you also need a new pair of jeans.
I would definitely spread the joy of looking for a missing piece over a longer period of time.
Take good time to find what will truly give you joy and consider professional help. It was a life changing g experience for me.
You know what I've been through the past 12 mos. I am one of the other reasons. I've had to delete more than half my tops because everything I owned was v-neck. I am slowly replacing my tops and trying to fit into my pants again. I too have gotten back to swimming. Taking lessons actually. Will never match your 1000mtrs. Keep the ideas coming please.
You never know with swimming - I honestly started being not being able to swim 25m without feeling like I was going to die! Then I manage to do 50m and then 75m and so on. But you don't have to do 1000m if you don't want to to! So great that you're taking lessons. Sometimes we can be afraid of starting new things as adults.
But, yeah dressing for a changing body is a tough journey. But by sharing it we can maybe not feel so alone and make it a bit easier.
I'm so glad this post resonated with you - and I'm grateful that you want to share it with your subscribers. Our relationships with our bodies are so complicated - and a miscarriage is truly heartbreaking.
This was such a great read. It really is such a tricky balance, but the fact that you’re being so intentional and mindful—especially compared to the average shopper—says a lot. I’d lean away from thinking of it as restricting, and more as finding comfort and confidence in your wardrobe even if that means going over your set number of new items
Thank you so much! I do my best, but feel far from perfect - the amount of online purchases and returns are adding up....
Finfing comfort and confidence in my wardrobe is definitely something I want to strive for, and probably more important than a set number. That said, I'm still taking my time to sit with the decision of how to continue from here.
Also wanted to take the opportunity to say how much i enjoy your substack and rhe outfits you put together <3
Congrats on getting stronger and becoming a better swimmer, Sigrid! I can totally relate to the replacement struggle, but for me, it's more of a basics struggle - to include or not to include?!?
I would feel free to replace the items that no longer fit, maybe starting with my absolute favorites and then working from there, while keeping the same number of new purchases. I think the purpose of the low buy is to encourage us to be intentional consumers, and you appear to be that. And it should be a tool that improves our lives in the long run - we make the rules, and we can change them to suit the point in our lives that we're at! Can't wait to read about whatever you choose to do!
Ohh the basics question is soo hard! My rule have been not to include anything I only wear as a baselayer and never on it's own. But I think it would depend how your basics situation is looking. If you have plenty, and it's just nice to add a couple, I think I would include them - especially if you know you have a tendency to overbuy them. If you really need basics and wouldn't prioritise to buy them if they were included, I wouldn't include them. So, tailor the rules to your situation.
I'm taking the rest of April to sit with the decision of how to continue and will do an update by the end of the month. But we have to be able to adjust the rules as our lives change :)
Congratulations on your swimming progress! That's so amazing Sigrid!
I don't think you need to completely ditch your low buy. I think adjusting your guidelines for where you're at now would be gentler and more in line with your values.
One thing you might want to consider is how to add items to your wardrobe with body fluctuations in mind. For example, I've been a skirt person for several years, in part because I find they adjust better to whatever size I happen to be at the time. Maybe it's not skirts for you, but, as you mentioned, you deserve clothes that will work with you.
I know it's hard right now, but I'm over here celebrating your broad shoulders :)
Thank you! It's really interesting to get other people's take on how to continue from here. Some adjusting definitely need to be done.
I'm generally more of a pants person, not that I don't like skirts, but I find it hard to find one that I like. But I would love to have more clothes that allow for body fluctuations, like pants with an elasticated waist.
Elastic waist is so good! I wish more pants had button fly in the front and elastic waist in the back. Best of both worlds. Please keep us updated on your plans and decisions! You’ve got this!
I love a button fly in the front and elastic waist in the back 💙 I have had my tailor put an elastic in the back of a pair of pants that were just a bit too big in the waist, but depending on the fabric I might be able to do it myself.
Loved this and found myself nodding along so much as I too navigate a changing body and changing lifestyle. Thank you for your honesty and agree with following spirit vs letter of the law as Angela suggested!
Navigating a changing body is never easy - sometimes we need to extend the grace and kindness to ourselves that we would to a friend. Doing my best to consume mindfully, but I'm not perfect in any way.
I feel you so much...I was in the same place a few years ago and it was a very confusing time - why has my style changed? what fits? what styles am I into now? secondhand or new? am i bad for buying from fast fashion brands? what if my body continues to change?
Interestingly, once I told myself I could buy whatever I wanted to fit my changed body, I suddenly became about 100x pickier. My mind wasn't focused on "am I a bad person for shopping", it was focused on whether I could find the right clothes I needed, and it turns out I don't like about 90% of the things out there anyway. I think giving ourselves the permission to shop won't necessarily turn us into ravenous consumers if we know why we're doing it in the first place.
I ended up buying 4 pairs of trousers that year (2023), which felt excessive at the time but they're now the foundation of my everyday dress: I've hit over 95 wears for two of them, and 55 and 34 wears respectively for the other two. I think these are good outcomes!
I find it so interesting that you became pickier, when you allowed yourself to shop. This is definitely food for thought! Maybe it's because we aren't focusing on what we can't have? The focus is on what do I want to bring into my wardrobe - what actually deserves a space there.
I'm super picky in the first place, and I do sometimes wonder if I'm actually too picky. But I also know that if I settle for something "good enough" I won't be completely happy with the piece. I might not buy a replacement, especially if it's a more practical piece, but I'll never truly be satisfied.
I love that you've worn your trousers that much - truly impressive. If I love a pair of trousers I'll wear it till it gets worn out (or too small in this case).
I had the same feeling after I came out of an extended no-buy back in 2023...I was like, ok I can finally buy the vintage top I was eyeing on TRR since I waited a whole month to buy it. And then I logged into TRR and realised, it's fine, I didn't want it that badly after all. It's the same this year - i'm technically on a low buy but I keep telling myself I can make exceptions for pieces with a story, and somehow having that "permission" makes me a more careful shopper.
I guess it's about the mindset. If we continually tell ourselves that we can't have something we end up focusing so much on what we can't have, that we want it even more - a scarcity mindset.
I love that this approach is working for you and it's super inspiring!
I’m reminded of a phrase used by Shawna Ripari on YouTube, I believe re: no/low buys, and that’s keeping an eye on whether your actions “follow the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law.” I wish I could find when she discussed this but I couldn’t (she’s quite prolific!), so hopefully the gist of it comes through. It seems to me that, as long as you stay within the “why” of your low buy (which is probably not feeling like you’re punishing your body for changing, but rather adopting a slower, more mindful, more considered approach to shopping), you’re still on a successful low buy.
Cheering you on regardless of the outcomes!!
Thank you for the encouraging comment! I love the idea of following "the spirit of the law rather than the letter of the law." I don't know what that'll look like yet, but this is definitely one thing to keep in mind. We can't always control and therefore plan for the changes in our lives and our body, so we need to be able to adapt. For it's just so easy to get caught up in the numbers and overthinking all my purchases.
This is so thoughtful, Sigrid! The reason I voted to forgo your low-buy this year is because it sounds like you're already a really thoughtful consumer who just happens to need a bit more new things than usual! I've been in a similar position and I found buying things that fit me helped my mental health so much — low buy or not. I think you should prioritize feeling good in your clothing and you don't seem like the type of person who is using your changing body as a reason to go crazy and over-consume! Give yourself grace and dress your body however you need now. <3
It's so helpful to hear from someone who went through something similar. The mental health aspect definitely plays a big role in dressing for a changing body, and it might be the right thing to forgo my low buy - haven't decided yet. Feeling good in my body is a higher priority than some arbitrary number (without overconsuming unnessarily). The low buy has caused me to overthink some decisions which might not have been good for my mental wellbeing.
And thank you for kind comment about me being thoughtful and not prone to overconsumption. It makes me so grateful for this community <3
Agreed!
Sigrid, I’m so glad you’re sharing about this, I think it’s something so many women deal with but are embarrassed to talk about, and then it doesn’t get normalized! My personal take is that you’re clearly so thoughtful about your purchases that I’m not sure you need a restriction to tell you what to do. I think you’ll be able to make that determination in each case when you’re considering a purchase.
Thank you for your kind comment. I did feel a bit vulnerable sharing this - showing that your body is changing and your're struggling with how to deal with that as well as shopping wasn't easy, but I also want this to be an honest reflection of what my wardrobe journey looks like. The positive response has been so heart warming.
I'll do my best to shop mindfully, but I also know that I might make mistakes and get tempted, and that's okay as well.
Absolutely.
I think you should leave the numbers a bit, forget about the low buy. Go by season, check what you need for the coming season, how many items do you need to be comfortable in your clothes for spring, then for summer, etc. Maybe you can take some items into the next season or you can use items for spring and fall for example. Adjust when needed. Keep the not well fitting clothes which are in good condition, just in case your body fluctuates again. A 100 piece wardrobe seems not excessive to me.
This might be the way to continue, I don't know yet - hence the article ;) I do try to use my clothes across the season, but for some reason the transition from winter to early spring is the hardest. I'll keep some of the clothes that don't fit in storage.
Honestly, I don’t think the idea of a low-buy is serving you right now. I think you would be better to make sure you have enough clothes that fit you comfortably for most situations, and then consider that some of those might look different to a straight replacement.
Wait and do a low-buy when you are in a position to start adding in extras. It’s not breaking a promise if the promise was made
at the wrong time. The last think you want to do is feel as though you are punishing or depriving yourself.
You have all the tools in place to continue making thoughtful choices, just don’t put a number on it’
Thank your for thoughtful comment. You might very well be right, that this just isn't the right time. I could fear that I would go overboard just a bit if I didn't have any restrictions in place, but of course there's always some form of budgetary restrictions... I'm giving myself the rest of the month to sit with the decision and see what feels right for now - then I may have to make adjustments later on again.
Sigrid, I may not have the answer for what you should do, but I came here to say thank you for sharing this. The deeper I get into this beautiful little Substack community, the more that I realize that none of us are really alone and that these experiences are so relatable. Thank you for sharing this, and I think that no matter what you do, it's clear that you're being so thoughtful and aware, and maybe it's ok to give yourself some flexibility if that feels right♥️
The community and the ability to connect with others with similar experiences are some of the best thing about Substack ❤️ This was a difficult post to write and I felt a bit vulnerable sharing it, so your comment means a lot.
Hi! These are good questions - I feel like it’s fine to buy new clothes with body changes but adopting a mindful approach is important (as you noted). (As well as resisting urge to go on a spree when things no longer fit - maybe spacing out purchases to see how they truly work on body and in wardrobe. No duplicates in diff colors, see how quality holds up over time, etc.) I think resisting the urge to declutter clothes as soon as they don’t fit anymore (esp if a favorite) is wise, as our bodies are likely to fluctuate many times throughout our lives. Good luck!
I'll probably need all the luck I can get! I'll do my best to avoid duplicates, but I know myself well enough to know this will be difficult, especially now when fit is such an issue! Fingers crossed!
I hope you give yourself grace here to do what you need to do to dress your changing body in a way that makes you feel comfortable, whatever the item number may come to. It's clear that you are thoughtful about your consumption and learning and adjusting for what works for you!
Thank you so much. Doing my best, but sometimes it's a struggle.
I join all the other kind comments here and encourage you to be gentle and kind to yourself. It’s definitely not you! It’s the clothes. Maybe sometimes we need to be brave enough - especially all of us fashion lovers - to simply say: “it’s just clothes” and they should never enslave you or make you feel less of yourself or your body.
How would I do this in practice?
I would make a list of items that you are now truly missing in your wardrobe, if you have already removed/culled all the no longer fitting pieces. If there are 3-4 pairs of pants, I would start with adding 1 pair of pants to my shopping list. Maybe 2 if you also need a new pair of jeans.
I would definitely spread the joy of looking for a missing piece over a longer period of time.
Take good time to find what will truly give you joy and consider professional help. It was a life changing g experience for me.
You know what I've been through the past 12 mos. I am one of the other reasons. I've had to delete more than half my tops because everything I owned was v-neck. I am slowly replacing my tops and trying to fit into my pants again. I too have gotten back to swimming. Taking lessons actually. Will never match your 1000mtrs. Keep the ideas coming please.
You never know with swimming - I honestly started being not being able to swim 25m without feeling like I was going to die! Then I manage to do 50m and then 75m and so on. But you don't have to do 1000m if you don't want to to! So great that you're taking lessons. Sometimes we can be afraid of starting new things as adults.
But, yeah dressing for a changing body is a tough journey. But by sharing it we can maybe not feel so alone and make it a bit easier.
Wow. This is amazing. I just wrote my latest Substack piece on how to love a body that let you down (learning to love your body after miscarriage).
This post is soooo good. Can’t wait to share it with my subscribers. Xo
I'm so glad this post resonated with you - and I'm grateful that you want to share it with your subscribers. Our relationships with our bodies are so complicated - and a miscarriage is truly heartbreaking.
Headed over to read your post <3
Appreciate you beyond words. Xo
This was such a great read. It really is such a tricky balance, but the fact that you’re being so intentional and mindful—especially compared to the average shopper—says a lot. I’d lean away from thinking of it as restricting, and more as finding comfort and confidence in your wardrobe even if that means going over your set number of new items
Thank you so much! I do my best, but feel far from perfect - the amount of online purchases and returns are adding up....
Finfing comfort and confidence in my wardrobe is definitely something I want to strive for, and probably more important than a set number. That said, I'm still taking my time to sit with the decision of how to continue from here.
Also wanted to take the opportunity to say how much i enjoy your substack and rhe outfits you put together <3
Thank you so much! So happy to hear you like the Substack! I’m really enjoy this platform and writing long content! X
Congrats on getting stronger and becoming a better swimmer, Sigrid! I can totally relate to the replacement struggle, but for me, it's more of a basics struggle - to include or not to include?!?
I would feel free to replace the items that no longer fit, maybe starting with my absolute favorites and then working from there, while keeping the same number of new purchases. I think the purpose of the low buy is to encourage us to be intentional consumers, and you appear to be that. And it should be a tool that improves our lives in the long run - we make the rules, and we can change them to suit the point in our lives that we're at! Can't wait to read about whatever you choose to do!
Ohh the basics question is soo hard! My rule have been not to include anything I only wear as a baselayer and never on it's own. But I think it would depend how your basics situation is looking. If you have plenty, and it's just nice to add a couple, I think I would include them - especially if you know you have a tendency to overbuy them. If you really need basics and wouldn't prioritise to buy them if they were included, I wouldn't include them. So, tailor the rules to your situation.
I'm taking the rest of April to sit with the decision of how to continue and will do an update by the end of the month. But we have to be able to adjust the rules as our lives change :)
Congratulations on your swimming progress! That's so amazing Sigrid!
I don't think you need to completely ditch your low buy. I think adjusting your guidelines for where you're at now would be gentler and more in line with your values.
One thing you might want to consider is how to add items to your wardrobe with body fluctuations in mind. For example, I've been a skirt person for several years, in part because I find they adjust better to whatever size I happen to be at the time. Maybe it's not skirts for you, but, as you mentioned, you deserve clothes that will work with you.
I know it's hard right now, but I'm over here celebrating your broad shoulders :)
Thank you! It's really interesting to get other people's take on how to continue from here. Some adjusting definitely need to be done.
I'm generally more of a pants person, not that I don't like skirts, but I find it hard to find one that I like. But I would love to have more clothes that allow for body fluctuations, like pants with an elasticated waist.
Elastic waist is so good! I wish more pants had button fly in the front and elastic waist in the back. Best of both worlds. Please keep us updated on your plans and decisions! You’ve got this!
I love a button fly in the front and elastic waist in the back 💙 I have had my tailor put an elastic in the back of a pair of pants that were just a bit too big in the waist, but depending on the fabric I might be able to do it myself.
Loved this and found myself nodding along so much as I too navigate a changing body and changing lifestyle. Thank you for your honesty and agree with following spirit vs letter of the law as Angela suggested!
Navigating a changing body is never easy - sometimes we need to extend the grace and kindness to ourselves that we would to a friend. Doing my best to consume mindfully, but I'm not perfect in any way.