The rabbit hole of online browsing

Rambling about my relationship with online shopping

I find myself browsing online more than I would like - sometimes without even real conscious thought. Why? Why do I again and again find myself browsing often without a real goal looking for something to want? Often it creates a desire for an item that I didn’t even know existed but I now crave with all my being which leads to even more online browsing.

Sometimes I start looking for an item I actually need or follow an interesting link and soon I find myself down the rabbit hole searching for the perfect sweater, the perfect pair of shoes or an amazing shirt that are just enough different from what I already have and will solve all my wardrobe struggles… Or in all honesty probably not.

The rabbit hole of online shopping

But what is it that makes me so keen on or even almost addicted to online browsing which then very often leads to adding clothes to my online cart that I might already have a suspicion won’t work… (But they just might!)

I came across this substack by Style in Process mentioning Michael Easter and his theory about the scarcity loop which had me diving deeper into this and since have been ruminating in my mind. The Scarcity loop consists of:

1. Opportunity

2. Unpredictable reward

3. Possibility to quickly repeat

Especially the notion of the unpredictable reward struck a note with me. Very often the anticipation of receiving the package is greater than when the order actually arrives. The hope of the clothing being exactly what I’m looking for overshadows the nickling doubt if I actually need another pair of ankle boots (I don’t!). Is it to introduce a bit of excitement into my otherwise mostly predictable life? Is it just about the thrill of the chase? This feels a bit contradictory to me as a bit of a control freak and über planner - or is it? Is it actually because I plan and control so much of my life that the excitement of receiving a package not knowing if the items will live up to expectation is what I seek? Or is it because as Style in Process writes;

an over-shopper aims to maintain control by acquiring a solution or item for every possible need.

This doesn’t feel exactly like that’s what it’s about for me, but an area I should like to explore in more detail. I do tend to return the majority of my purchases so this doesn’t fit with having something for every possible need.

Recently a package arrived, and for a short moment I actually considered returning it all without even trying it on. The lure of the clothes had faded from the time I ordered them till they arrived, and I knew they weren’t what I was looking for. Is it the unpredictability of what we receive that makes online shopping so alluring and gives us that dopamine hit?

I don’t have the answer to all the questions above, but boredom and availability (or opportunity as Easter calls it) are probably two huge factors in the amount of online browsing I indulge in. I pretty much have my phone with me all the time, and waiting for the bus or any other time it’s way too easy to use that time to look at what’s new. You start scrolling on Instagram for inspiration and suddenly before you know it you’ve clicked on a new desirable piece. Scrolling endlessly isn’t very compatible with my low buy for 2025 - or at least it makes it harder.

I did manage a week of no online browsing - not very long. And then I went into a store to try on some bras as replacement for ones that aren’t fitting right anymore. They didn’t have the right sizes which led to quite a bit (or honestly a lot!!) of online browsing and shopping (more on that in an upcoming post) - but at least I stuck to looking at bras and not bikinis, loungewear etc. which easily could have happened.

I still in some ways prefer online shopping to in store shopping. I can search and filter exactly what I’m looking for, often more sizes are available, and for me it takes some of the pressure away to make an immediate decision. I can sleep on it and allow time to consider the purchase carefully. Furthermore I can try it on with my existing pieces and see if it works as I imagined. Not long ago I returned a pair of beautiful trousers that just didn’t work with any of my shoes, but in most other ways were perfect. I’m still going to shop online, but I do want to reduce the online scrolling that leads to unplanned purchases that I hadn’t even thought to want in the first place as well as copious amounts of returns.

I want to be mindful of how I use my time. I want to be mindful of which links I click. As Alison Brimley writes:

“I have a finite amount of love to lavish on clothes and a finite number of days to wear what I accumulate.”

I need to let things sit in my online cart for longer and not just click ‘buy’ immediately just to later return it all. I need to reflect on what I actually want to add to my wardrobe in order to cultivate a practice of slowly building a wardrobe I love. I want to wear all the lovely clothes I already own.

I want to spend more time offline - creating, knitting, playing with my wardrobe, enjoying the outdoors - and spend my online time in a more satisfying way - writing and enjoying fellow Substackers’ valuable insights - and once in a while indulge in a thoughtful purchase.

My gut reaction is still anytime I think of something or someone mentions something to go look online, but I try to tell myself I’ll look at it later - it’ll still be there. And most of the time it works and I might very well forget about the item altogether. A total ban on online browsing would just make me want to do it more. But it could be worth taking a break like Jenny Power from My Style Rush suggests:

Taking a conscious break can help us to see the reality of our relationship with shopping - how and what we are shopping, when and why - and can help us to see more clearly what we actually need, what we want and what we shouldn’t be buying.

I’m considering doing a “no online shopping” month for February in order to give myself that break, but I need to sit with that thought a bit longer before committing to see if it feels right.

My low buy and desire for less online browsing isn’t about punishing myself for past mistakes or excessive overconsumption. It’s about moderation and satisfaction. About knowing that in reality I have enough and cultivating a practice and better habits. It’s about spending time on what truly matters. My wardrobe is far from perfect and would benefit from a few new additions over time, but definitely not every shiny thing that attracts my attention. It’s about accepting the (slow) ongoing process of building a wardrobe that fits our ever changing lives.

On a no buy or low buy? Struggling with too much online browsing? I would love to hear from you in the comments and if you have any strategies for limiting the doom scrolling or have tried a “no online shopping” month!